Road to nowhere

by ale

Here at the end of a ten year road

destination: (almost) accomplished
next route: uncharted

You never had the difficulty – never had to worry – about smoothing your paths. They unrolled before you, before you even noticed them. Silky sweet; they alleviated your multiple statuses. You got it, before you wished for it. And I envy every genetic make-up of your being.

Yet you went ahead. This almost seems like an offense. For someone who didn’t have to, never had to; I am in greater need of your place. But now your big blob of golden space in that snobbish institution, is the talk of this blue and white girl town. Echoing down corridors and muttered under hot breathes – this news: nothing has changed from the carefree days.

Carefree, I dare say. You robbed parts of my girlish joy, my self-esteem. And now upon this coming of age, I am faced again with this hardened fact. Years I spent proving myself, seems to be slipping away. Now the knife is as sharp as it once was, and I’m losing all grip on the rocks I’ve built.

You are my friend. And the question of my inadequacy is gnawing. I keep wondering what it’s like to be you; out of sincere curiosity, and deep envy. All I want is a road, unveiled like those for the royalty of your heels. All I have ever wanted, was the genetic make-up of your kind.

next destination: nowhere